In the medical world there are the medical Doctors, and there are the homeopathic Doctors. Neither have the perfect solution, but from my experience, both claim and attempt to persuade their patients that their solution is the best solution possible, and the only way forward. My journey through treatment began in a more homeopathic way, and perhaps it would have been the perfect solution for some one else, but for me, it wasn’t. Don’t get me wrong, my Chiropractic adjustments and the weekly massages relieved a large majority of my pain, and I loved it.
Whenever I was in the Chiropractic office, Dr. Gray would dedicated all his efforts to persuade me that Chiropractic treatment was going to be the solution to my problem. As a child I was easily convinced. I had faith and hope in the possibility that he could provide the treatment that I needed. But as the months passed, and the years passed, nothing got better, and in fact, it got much worse. The many hours I spent evaluating my deformity, led to me noticing that there was an increase in my protrusion. As part of my denial of the situation, I pretended that I didn’t notice it for a while. Until one day, I realized I needed to do something about the problem, so I decided to talk to Dr. Gray.
By the time I was eleven, I had been seeing Dr. Gray and Tracy for almost 2 years. After a few months of treatment, my mama stopped coming in with me and instead she would drop me off while she ran her errands. I hadn’t spoken to anyone about the possibility that my Scoliosis was getting worse, so bringing it up with Dr. Gray was very intimidating. That day, I decided to wait until the end of my adjustments to discuss it with him. I laid on the Chiropractic table, while he performed his adjustments. By that point, I knew the routine very well. He began by cracking my mid and upper back, while I laid on my belly face down on the table. I had to take a few deep breaths and he would adjust my spine during my exhale.Then, I laid on my right side with my right knee pulled into my chest, and he would adjust my lower back. The same position was repeated for my left side. The last area he always did was my neck. It always cracked so smoothly, and left me feeling relaxed and at ease.
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At the end of the session I slowly stood up, and told him I needed to talk to him. The relaxed state of mind I was in was exactly the state of mind I needed to be in. It helped me exude confidence, and it made it easier for me to pretend I knew what I was saying and doing, but at that age I didn’t. I began to explain to Dr. Gray that I felt as though my curvature was getting worse. I was nervous about his reaction, and attempted to conceal my doubt in his treatment. He stood there listening, nodding and pretended to acknowledge what I was saying to him, but he didn’t really provide any solution. Instead, he mentioned that X-rays were not part of the treatment package that I was receiving so if I had noticed any changes, I would need X-rays to be sure. Getting X-rays done without insurance was expensive, and I felt as though there had to be another way, another option.
I asked whether there existed another kind of doctor that might be able to help me, and if he could provide me with the name of that kind of Doctor. To my surprise he said no, he said that he wouldn’t give me the name of the kind of Doctor that could treat Scoliosis. He said that those Doctors would just put me in a plastic brace and it wouldn’t correct the problem, it would just prevent it from getting worse. I had never heard of an Orthopedic, and I had no idea that was the kind of Doctor that I needed to see. My mama didn’t speak English, and if I needed to see another kind of Doctor it was up to me to find it. Before leaving the room he reassured me, that I was getting the best possible treatment and that his adjustments were really helping. I walked out of the room and into Tracy’s massage therapy room, feeling hopeless. I felt defeated as though there were no options, I only had one option and I no longer felt like it was working. In a last attempt to find another alternative, I asked Tracy what was the name of the kind of Doctor that could treat my scoliosis, and she too, refused to tell me. I felt as though the world was against me, and as if no one really wanted me to get better.